Eloquent Feelings

"When you kissed me the last time and we, or at least I, didn't know that it was the last time, I didn't kiss you enough. I thought I had a lifetime to do so, I took you for granted. Then, I used to think that it was my faith in our love that makes me believe in our forever, but, we all knew about the inevitability of ephemerals. I wish I would have, everytime, kissed you like it was the last time. That way, may be, it would have had hurt less when you left, may be I would not have had regrets of not loving you enough. Now, that we look at each other and feel nothing, I yearn for the part of me you took away with you, and, left behind a bottomless abyss of emptiness. To say, I felt empty, curling under my blanket, pressing my palm against my face and wailing in agony to not let any part of my reality escape the little world I had created under my blanket, far away from the real world. The real world didn't please me anymore, for there was no you in it. But, this emptin...

Pushed away, torn apart Stamped and ripped in parts! Shall I burn the hell? Or get burnt? Because it all hurts and I don't want it to end. Losing my mind and my soul Wanting to walk away But keeping close. Is this how it was meant to be? Turn the time and I wouldn't start again But now that it already has, I can't walk away I can't walk away. When I asked you to come along I didn't ask for annihilation I didn't ask for annihilation If this is love Help me hate you But now even if I try I think I can't walk away Holding, hurting, crying Watching my heaven turn to hell Wanting to burn the bridge But all I keep doing is Walk the bridge. Burn it, break it, demolish it I don't wanna go back But I guess I'll build a new one No matter how much it hurts I think I can't walk away. No! Not anymore; I'm stuck in annihilation and I guess I'm loving the pain. So, I can't walk away.

"Ssh! You'll be fine." I wrapped her in my arms trying to comfort her from something I could never understand. When I had set out on a path of conquest of life, I bumped into her and since that day I have known that she is like a quenching of my thirst of life. But life never comes easy. Behind her beautiful innocent appearance lies her demons. I tell her everyday that she will be fine; but, will she? Not a single person can look into her eyes and make out that there lies a galaxy of darkness inside her, thriving every night and embracing her. I see my girl standing on the edge of life and death, everyday. Every night. She has got the most beautiful and compassionate heart; she has also got cruelty and brutality, but for herself. The girl I love the most can't love me back with the same vigour and she's unaware of it. She thinks she loves me and even I had that notion but when I started knowing her, I knew she was able to love more but she just couldn't get r...

"I'm falling for you and I don't want to think straight. I have not been this happy since a long time. Let's not stop, because,I know that you *feel* the same." I urged him holding his hand on the extreme secluded corner of a small coffee house. The rain drops were gently touching the window pane beside, just as I wanted his fingers to touch my skin and run down my soul. He tried too hard to not to look at my eyes, but I was drowning into his eyes wanting to kiss his lips and to melt in his arms. I knew he was falling hard and I was not. I just loved the feeling of being loved and wanted it so badly. Just as the drought hit land requires rain, I needed love and I couldn't let him go. Finally, he made a move and tried to speak; but he was struck as he looked at me. It was nothing like the time had stopped or the world ceased to exist, like it happens in movies, the time was running as fast as our heartbeats then and all the people were there too but it didn...

A titillating anxiety, A sweet pain, Few skipped heart beats, Fresh like first rain. Stealing glimpses, Following her; Exchange of glances, In the corridor. I grew old, Feel is still young. Such is the spell of, The first love.

"Ever felt a cool soothing breeze walking down the pavement? He is that soothing breeze to me. I need him like the fields need rain after drought. When he looks at me, I feel my heart beating; I live when I'm with him, rest of the time I wait to live. I'm not saying I love him. But, I want to drown in the depths inside him, he is a mystery I want to solve, I want to feel his soul and I want to love all the imperfections that makes him so perfect. I can't get him out of my mind even for a second. It's like a never ending hangover." I gasped trying to explain how I feel. "That, my friend, is love." Sahana reverted, picking her coffee mug from the desk and started sipping coffee. She eyed me from behind the coffee mug while sipping, I knew she was waiting to notice any sign of abnormal behaviour of mine to prove her point. That's it. I couldn't take it any longer, I told her firmly,"Oh! Please! I don't love him. It's different...

Theme- Inspiration to write Highs and lows, Lost and found, Fast and slow, People who come and go; Everything and everyone, Who has been a part of my life, Pale, dull, ebullient or fun Is the inspiration to write. Theme- spilled ink/ink/ ink and white sheets Drowning alone in myself, Sinking to bits and pieces; Bleeding feelings on white pages, Ink blurred with tears' traces. Theme- Memories Promises broken Words unspoken Swiftly you left Like we never met Years have passed by, But, memories still destroy. Theme- Night/ stars/ moon/ dark What if stars are nothing, But scars on the sky? Glowing and illuminating, Lessons learned from life. Theme- For someone A laugh or a cry, Far away or nearby, Whatever moment we share Pain or bliss, I don't care. As long as I live, You will be cherished. Theme- Solitude Amidst city life, Breathing in solitude. Deep inside succumbing self, Healing the wounds. Random verses penned down instantly on the ...

Under the starlit sky- Fingers locked, legs entwined; Nothing between us but empty sheets, Your hand running down my soul so deep. Silence filled with our whispers of love, Drowned in your eyes, far away from world. Can't you see yourself in my eyes? Your love is the fire, I the ice; Melting in your arms, slowly, There's nothing left in me of me. Every inch of me is for you to love, For you to crush, for you to drug. Intoxicated, overdosed, stupefied, I am yours, you're mine. You are the truth and forever a lie, So, here today I wish to die. Tomorrow, we will be a dream; Like a mild hangover, this will be a realm. Though promises were never made; You will live in me till my soul fades. If our paths cross somewhere, I promise my love will still be there.

when I die, I need no praises Nobody did when I was alive. They who killed me long back Shall not shed tears and fake cries. When I die, Tell them death's what I deserved, How evil I was. My right was always wrong. Amidst you all, I never belonged. When I die, Tell them I wanted to be a boy I dreamt of flying high. I was cursed for I didn't compromise And, that's how I died. When I die, All those who faked on my face And on my back they betrayed Can come to witness their victory Claim my body as their trophy When I die, I wish no other girl is born No girl is showed equal rights And when claimed, denied. No girl must dream high When I die, I wish the world changes People are born with single faces Girls are allowed to have aspirations And, freedom is more than an expression.

That night was a no different night, with me submerging my conscience in music and giving up for the day, putting my weary fake smile aside after a long and exhaustive day. I was tired of doing nothing all the day, even breathing was a laborious task for me to do. I logged in to my facebook account as I knew that sleep was miles away for an insomniac like me. Scrolling up and down my news feed, I passed my time listening to music and yearning when I saw my stranger friend’s status that I vaguely remember now. All I remember now, he was mourning his friend’s death and tagged hiss mood as “depressed”. Suddenly, waves of compassion rose inside me hitting my conscience and I thought of pinging him. “Hi!” “Hi.” “Hi…” A few more ‘hi’s from the other end were left unopened and ignored by me. I wondered if he was going to seek vengeance on me by doing the same but this did not refrain me from pinging him. ...

Kellogg's cornflakes have been my favorite since childhood days. The love for cornflakes amplified with its availability in varied flavors. If its varied flavors are so yummy then I am sure that Guptaji’s family’s enticing cornflakes recipes would be very scrumptious. They got so many recipes for breakfast that anyone would be lured to visit Guptaji’s family for breakfast. Like others, I too am interested in visiting him for breakfast; especially for the walnut chocoballs. As they say, the “First Crush Wala Nashta” will give you a piece of heaven and being a chocolate lover I have this strong urge to get a piece of heaven. Healthy and yummy food is generally considered as a myth as healthy food is not yummy and the yummy ones are not that healthy. But Guptaji’s family has come up with exciting recipes where they have used cornflakes to prepare yummy dishes and we know it from our early childhood days that cornflakes are healthy. We grow up seeing our siblings, grandparents and ...

“I don’t know whether I will be back or not.” he said and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. Rubbing my sleepy eyes and taking things for granted, as I knew papa would be back, I did not take his words seriously and went back to my dreamland as soon as they left. FEW WEEKS LATER: I woke up to the ringing of my elder sister’s phone in the early morning and overheard her conversation. I could only understand that we were asked to reach for the airport and take the first flight to New Delhi. I knew he wasn’t well. I reached there and met my uncle who had come to receive us. I tried to read his eyes which were slightly red and he looked tired. Things were pretty normal; I sighed. Just when we were about to reach the hospital, my sister said to me, “He is no more.” “What?” I almost screamed in a shock. My uncle turned back to as what the matter was and we kept mum. No, I did not believe it and I, at least for once, expected and ...

Some things just happen, they may or may not be destined to happen but you make them happen. Sometimes you need to rebel, sometimes you need to protest, Sometimes you have to be the hero, sometimes you need to wake up. I woke up to the rays of the sun kissing me and the birds' chirpings at my window. I rubbed my eyes which were filled with hopes for a new day, a new beginning. Stretched my hands and remained on bed, doing nothing, for a while before I finally moved out of bed. Like always, I was late for my class and it was my mid semester examination day. I hurried to take shower and got ready in next thirty minutes. In the next few minutes, I was in the bus stand to catch the first bus. The bus came and it was fully packed; having no other option left, I took the bus. Though it was fully packed, I managed to get a seat that was reserved for ladies. I took my bottle of water out and started to drink water. It was then when I felt a man leaning on my body taking advantag...

Boys, it seems, have a natural inclination towards cars and bikes. The small boy in our home who cannot utter words clearly remains awestruck everytime we go for a long drive. He remains so occupied with cars that he does not wish to return home. We take the longest roads and travel few extra kilometers just to appease him and his love for cars. The dry diaper keeps him dry and happy which is amplified by the beauty of cars and bikes. As he is growing up, his mischievousness is growing too and it takes extra energy for him to remain active all the day.  Not only the nutritious food but also a dry good night’s sleep is necessary for him. How can he learn without making mistakes? We give him space to commit mistakes and learn from them. This liberty makes him smile everytime he breaks his favorite toy. The smile of serenity in the morning when he gets up can brighten up anyone’s day! It authenticates the fact that the dry diaper has provided a sound sleep to him and he is ready...

I saw a familiar figure coming in my direction like a ray of hope nearing me in a dark tunnel. “Fatso! What’s up??” I heard his voice from some distance which was faint but audible enough for me to recognize him.  I smiled, it was natural and inadvertent. He was like the rain after the drought that helped all the dust from the tragedy of the past to settle down on earth. It felt fresh and light when I smiled, after a long time. Something inside me reacted when he came closer and my brain reacted in a reflex, my hand lifted itself up to embrace a new beginning, or, to continue something that was left incomplete someday in the pages of my book that has been turned by me then. I embraced my past-before-the-latest-past in my arms where probably he embraced his temporary future in his arms. Whatever it was, nostalgia hit me hard and I melted into silent tears which I managed to hide from him. He was and still is real bad in learning my feelings from my eyes but I...

 “I am participating in the #TheWorldRemade activity at BlogAdda in association with India Today #Conclave15 “. I understand the fact that a Utopian world is a myth, yet if given a chance to be the creator, paint the beliefs and behavior in a new way and design a new world, I would make sure that the following persists in a new world where I can take pride and happiness in saying that “Here’s The World Remade!” No polarized sex: How does it even matter if a person is a male or a female? What change it will bring if I tick on the box for female in the admission form? If the upbringing of a guy teaches him that a girl is different from a guy, the seed of curiosity is being sowed in his mind. This reaps an inquisitiveness of devouring her body as puberty struck him. This curiosity is in the girl’s mind too. They will be taught that both are equal and every school and college will be a co-education institution regardless of gender. Girls and guys will be blessed with equal ...

It was not because she was hurt but it was because it had to. I guess all 'let's change our facebook passwords' relationships end this way. "I had warned you. I knew this was coming and see what have you done to us. It is not always about cheating. You know what? It is never about cheating. It has always been about insecurities. Insecurities are like parasites. Parasites suck blood out of you and insecurities suck all the love from a relationship. I know you love me but I am too tired this time. I know you did not doubt me but you need the password to build your trust in me. I mean this is not relationship. If this is a relationship, this is not a healthy one. I do not mind you checking my messages, I would ask you to log in and reply to my friends on my behalf but why do you need to 'check' my messages and feel insecured and then again stay silent for hours. I mean why the hell am I going through all these when I am being honest and loyal. I can get many guys...

As time keeps moving on, all we are left with are the memories. The quality of life is nothing but the quality of memories we have lived in the moments that would never come back ever again. I saw him coming out of his lane as I waited for him at a distance. His eyes looked at me like I was a stranger and that gave me a feeling of never knowing him enough. I still remember his plain stoic face and cold behaviour; I knew it was going to be the last time I am meeting him. My heart was beating for him, I was breathing for him. I could not say anything but just stare at my love; he looked so good in black that I was mesmerised by his look. I forgot that we had come to discuss the end. He said, "It's over." He did not look at me, I kept smiling looking at him and tears came streaming down my cheeks. I was smiling for he was happy now and crying because a part of me was dead forever. I saw him leaving without waiting for my answer as if he was choking with burden of guilt....