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The Unseen Closeness

"Ever felt a cool soothing breeze walking down the pavement? He is that soothing breeze to me. I need him like the fields need rain after drought. When he looks at me, I feel my heart beating; I live when I'm with him, rest of the time I wait to live. I'm not saying I love him. But, I want to drown in the depths inside him, he is a mystery I want to solve, I want to feel his soul and I want to love all the imperfections that makes him so perfect. I can't get him out of my mind even for a second. It's like a never ending hangover." I gasped trying to explain how I feel.
"That, my friend, is love." Sahana reverted, picking her coffee mug from the desk and started sipping coffee. She eyed me from behind the coffee mug while sipping, I knew she was waiting to notice any sign of abnormal behaviour of mine to prove her point.
That's it. I couldn't take it any longer, I told her firmly,"Oh! Please! I don't love him. It's different. I can't love him. I mean I shouldn't." Though I wanted to make her believe me, somewhere deep down the line, I, myself, knew I was lying to her. My voice faltered, or rather reflected the dilemma in my head.
"Move on! Not every guy is going to break your heart."
"I can't love him. He will never reciprocate. I understand that he catches up with me everytime he gets time. But, he never makes time to catch up with me. That's the fine line between liking and loving someone. I'm important for him but not a priority. And, love doesn't happen this way."
"Throw hints, baby! And see if he loves you too?"
"If he doesn't? Everything will be awkward. Let it be. At least, he is close to me now but if I tell him, directly or indirectly, he might leave."
"But, Rushali......"
"Please! Stop it, Sahana. I said, let it be." This time, there was a firmness in my tone. I know she cares for me but, this, that she wants, isn't happening and she must accept it.
Unwillingly, she gave up and she left after sometime.
As soon as Sahana left, I opened gallery in  my smartphone and opened the folder *Pushkar*. I have saved all his pictures from facebook and started to stare at them, zooming in and zooming out, noticing every detail for the Nth time. Running finger down his face, I felt the urge to check his last seen on Whatsapp.
'Online' it showed.
I could feel butterflies in my stomach. I knew that he was not going to ping me yet I felt a sudden rush of euphoria just because he and I were online at the same moment. I, so much, wanted to ping him and talk to him about anything and everything but that would have been too desperate of me. I ended the conversation last time, so, it is he who must ping first. Chained my thoughts, harnessed my feelings and refrained myself from pinging him. It was too difficult, I swear.
***
(Somewhere in the same city)
"Guys! She's online." Pushkar exclaimed with joy.
"Who? Bhabhi?" Asked Abhi.
"How strongly I wish she was your bhabhi; but.... nevermind!"
"Dude! At least, give it a try....."
"And, mess everything up? No way! At least I can meet her and talk to her now." Pushkar sighed.
"Fine. Send me her number and let me make her your bhabhi." Sam retorted, pausing his movie and laughed alone at his own joke.
"Eff off!" Pushkar looked desperately at the phone waiting for her to type.
"Why isn't she pinging me? I want to talk to her." Pushkar added.
"Because she doesn't know telepathy. So, you need to ping her and start the conversation, brother!" Abhi said to him in a comforting tone, curling his arm around Pushkar's back.
"No. I started the conversation last time. I don't want to look desperate. Let it be."
"You will die alone, I guarantee." Sam's voice popped up.
***
Both, Sahana and Pushkar, got back to their own realities without realizing their dream of togetherness.

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