The Infectious Happiness

The pain has overpowered me and the last spark of fire is gone. Everything is cold inside. The pain is amplifying, like the heaps of snow in winters, making it colder. I try looking inside me, it is all hollow, empty, dark, cold and silent but this darkness does not scare me anymore. I peep inside me and see my soul taking a corner inside and resting against the barriacades I have built to stop letting people in. It has lost its charm and looks tired and fragile. What have I done to my life? Is this what we call "life"? How can I call it a life when I am not living but only surviving? How can it be a life when there is no life in my life? Is the concept of happiness a myth? But, I see people smiling, are they too faking it like me?

"Come, let's go for a walk." She said. I woke up from my slumber of thoughts and took my jacket to accompany her. It was a perfect pre- Christmas winter evening where I could see my breath as I exhaled it in the air. The chilled wind was piercing into the little skin in my hand which was exposed to the cold but the cold did not bother me anymore as I was too cold inside.
"Let's go to the food court." She said; matching her pace of steps with me, a big smile brightened her face. I failed to notice that my sister has become very beautiful now. I could see that she was happy and that made her beautiful. We are living similiar lives then what is in her that is lacking in me. Why can't I be happy like her?

She ordered two meals for us and hot chocolate for me and waited to take the delivery at the counter while I shifted my eyes to a vacant bench at the isolated corner and took a seat there. I saw her sniffing her food while she was coming towards me, foodie she is. I smiled inadvertently looking at her.
"Finally you smiled. The purpose of this evening walk is served." She said as soon as she came to me and handed me the food.
"So it was for me?" I asked.
"What? This walk or the food?"
I laughed, "Let it be. Thank you."
"Someon is trying to be formal. Ok. That's my pleasure", she chuckled.
The phone started ringing, I knew it was her phone as firstly, I had no one to call me and secondly, I keep my phone on silent mode always. I loved silence. I was almost done with my food when she returned. Yes, I did not wait for her as I was not accustomed to these things. I had been living in isolation inspite of being in a crowd since months.

I saw this big time foodie packing her food properly and leading towards somewhere. I waited to see what she was doing, and, then she handed over the food to the child who was staring at the food court with his hand running in circles over his tummy. He was drooling and his malnourished body showed how badly he was starving. I noticed her from a distance while she opened her purse and took out some money to give to the child. I was actually slurping the last drops of hot chocolate while my sister returned and asked if I was done
"Why did you do that? I know you love that meal. You even gave money, how will you have it then?"
"Mommy is cooking for us so I can manage. But that child would have starved tonight and nobody cares for the poor. I can come back tomorrow to have it and I will also get time to spend with my little sister again. Everything happens for some good." She said with that bright smile in her face.

I smiled again. We walked back home smiling, cracking jokes, remembering the good old childhood days.

Now I knew what is in her that I was lacking, it is compassion. She could feel the pain in others and make efforts to heal it, at least a bit of it. This kind of happiness is infectious. It travels from the lips of the needy to the helper then to every person around. It affected me, I started feeling my heart beats again. It must have affected others too. I learnt the real meaning of happiness, it's about helping. Many people fail to feel this happiness even after helping as they expect something in return; may be something like earning God's favour by helping His creation. But that's an act of selfishness. Happiness comes from selfless deeds. She did not know who the child was, she did not even talk about it later let alone flaunt. She keeps doing it every now and then and forgets about it. All that remains are thousands of smiles that lights her up from within. These smiles are of the people she has helped. She doesn't remember all of them but the smiles keep on multiplying. These smiles start from her lips and dies in her heart brightening her from within. Now I know that happiness is not a myth.

I tugged my hands in the pockets of my jacket as I felt the chilled wind on my hands, sighed and smiled. I started looking at the world from a different perspective now. Everything was full of life. I looked at her, her 'infectious happiness' coated smile lighted a spark inside me; now I feel warm inside.