Travelogue: On Railway Tracks!

Our eyes met as soon as he came near me. I saw him catching glimpses of all the fellow passengers as if trying to read everyone he was travelling with. To be honest, I was doing the same. I was analysing and observing everyone my eyes fell upon as I was going to spend at least sixteen hours of my life with these people. I know very soon we all will embark on our journeys and depart without biding adieu to each other after this journey ends. Some will be going to funerals, some are returning back to their homes, some are going for new year celebration, probably the one I saw reading others was going to attend marriage with his family and extended family. Very soon, we all settled down and the journey begun.

Though I have been on many journeys till date but this time it was different. A part of me was dead a long back and months before that I was buried under heaps of responsibilities. With these upheavals in life I have undergone a drastic change. This journey is the first journey for a new me. Previously, I used to sleep, eat or do useless stuffs to kill time but now I am trying observe and grasp more than enough of this journey, probably this is one of the best moments in my life.

My heart is welcoming the darkness gracefully and the chilled breeze, though making me shudder, is embracing me. I am born in that part of India which is famous for its natural beauty but I am not much into admiring this beauty. I feel that things are changing with me. I look at the hills and let my thoughts wander around the lives in the small houses visible at extreme distance like a star twinkling admist the thick layer of fog. I had always wanted to be invisibly present in these small houses and explore more about life, happiness, sorrow, etc, but most of all, I want to know how it feels to be perfectly happy without having all the happiness in the world. This art of contentment is lacking in most of us.

The best part of travelling at night is the serenity. You can let loose your infinite thoughts and can give time to each of them perfectly. We authors have this habit of weaving stories out of nothing and making it relatable for the world. People do not even realise certain relatable feelings thriving inside them before we make them read these feelings. A special kind of social work we do to let people explore within them which they fail to do otherwise. People are so busy chasing materialistic dreams that they fail to know their ownself. Such a big tragedy this is for the mankind. In old age, we are going to end up in solitude or surrounded by the loved ones only and will gradually lose all lust for luxuries in life. This is only in this stage that we will enjoy peace of mind and then die in peace. Why not have this peace of mind in the early days of life? Why can't we be happy with a handful of well wishers and the basic necessities in life? That way we can scrimp on the mistakes and regrets too.

As I am proceeding with this pieces of thoughts, I realise that I have never been this thoughtful before. I am changed. I see the railway track running parallely. I try to explore its philosophical role in my life. I know I have travelled that track before. I am still not able to find its role in my life. I just know that though it has no role to play in my life yet it is travelling with me. It is like my past where I have been before and I am on different track now yet my past travels with me wherever I go. All my sins and virtues have no further role to play in my life but they are with me and will be with me all throughout my journey of life like this parallel track. This is my teacher, my alma mater. Life is certainly the best teacher.

As I dive deeper in my thoughts, I remember how my dad used to be awake whole night just to make sure that we slept peacefully and stay protected. He was our sheild of protection. Now, I am doing the same in his absence. Though being a nocturnal it is quite easy for me and I am actually enjoying it, I still feel blessed to take over his duty. We, girls in India, find ourselves to be priviledged when we get to become the sons for our families. Though we are deprived of his physical presence, we have learnt a lot from him after he passed away. He was the altruist of our family and now we are a bunch of altruists who find solace in being so. Altruism keeps me and my family connected with the departed soul. He lives within us, within each one of us. Like every typical human, we did not have enough time to look around  us, feel the pain thriving within others and make a little effort to heal it. He taught us explore the happiness hidden in helping others; he lost his life but, before leaving, taught us the meaning of life. Good human beings never die. They live even after they die, they live within us, they live in our deeds. So, we make efforts to keep him alive in our deeds. It doesnt matter how many people cry when you die, only thing that matters is how many people remember you when the world forgets you.

When I started writing, I had no clue where my thoughts were leading me. I guess I have hovered a lot. But still my thoughts do not tend to rest. They are acting like the kids who are let open and free in the mighty green field which stretches to infinity. These children are so busy enjoying their freedom that they do not want to come back to their shed and retire.

I have travelled a lot in my past, present and future by means of these unleashed thoughts and yet m not exhausted. I was exhausted of pushing myself to move on in the past. I have relived these days of pain so many a times in the present. Time changes but pain remains constant within us. No matter we are happy or sad, there will always be some kind of pain within us. Happiness are just the ephemeral painkillers that make us forget our pain for sometime. Though we chase the happiness but this pain is our faithful companion. We strive for loyalty in life but fail to notice the fidelity of pain in life. Happiness has never stayed, it has let me down; but whenever happiness left me, pain embraced me in its arms. The tears of happiness authenticates this fact. These tears of happiness are nothing but the outcome of pain inside us that makes us value the happiness.

I look outside the window trying to find the horizon but the nature is hiding under the veil of fog. Darkness has consumed the entire scenario and nature is enjoying its slumber it seems. The train halted and started again. I saw some officers with heavy guns hung from shoulder passing by me. They are meant to protect us, but why is it so that their sight reflects a sense of tension among everyone? Some kind of uneasiness that not everyone can see but only observants observe.

The best scenic beauties for me are: when the moon shines over water-bodies making its water glisten. It is like the moon is in love with it and so it lights its love with its own light. And the other one is watching the highways running parallely. The clean lonely highways which travel beside the track accompanying it but can never meet it. Unfateful it is to be with someone and not meet him ever. Everything in nature has a reflection of life in it.

No matter how large the territory of my thoughts are, I will never be able to explore the meaning of life exclusively. No single person in this world can. May be that is why humans, since generations, have been saying that life is unpredictable and capricious. However, love makes meaning of life simple. Because, then we need to explore only the person we love in order to explain the meaning of life as that person becomes our life. In love, life becomes love, love becomes life. Love is again peculiar in its own ways. These are the cliche topics explored by many but yet are unexplained.

I have to travel a myriad times to decipher life and love. Some day, with more experiences from life, may be I would be successful in it. With this hope, I retire for the day and devote myself to the calmness and beauty of a typical winter night of late december.